READY STEADY MISS!!!!

I may be totally wrong but I doubt very much if Lyn is going to make the ladies tour this year,next year or indeed ever.It was her first time on the range and needless to say it soon descended into uncontrolled laughter.It was just as well that there were just Lyn and I plus another couple Mike and Ann as we would have been sure to put any other paying punters off .This range is fairly close to us and is also a short nine hole course.Mikes wife is a member there and he is a member at Swaffham.Ann wants Lyn to become a member !!!!! we shall see.Anyway it was a good morning out and I was able to get used to my new clubs ready for my next round on Tuesday of next week.
What else have we been doing,well on the allotment front we have made good progress and have nearly three quarters raked and ready for planting.A couple of hours tomorrow should see it finished.
Bell ringing is coming along really well and we have all four progressed to ringing the changes which basically means that we can now follow different bells when told to by the bell captain,so it won't be long before we will be ringing on a Sunday morning.
Quiz night on Wednesday was good as team Arman did very well,coming a creditable fourth.
Last night six of us went to the agm of the Bowls Club held at the Social Club as we may or may not join.Watch this space as we are really not sure.Lyn may join,but what with my golf and other things we are doing I really don't think we will have the time.
Went to Swaffham market this morning and managed to add to our collection of pictures,as well as getting a really good rake for the allotment for only £2.50.
Tomorrow will see us at the allotment again and Monday we shall be going to the driving range once more to hit and in Lyns case miss some more balls.

THE GOOD LIFE

As you can see we have turned our weed strewn plot of land into something completely different,and it only took us a little over 30mins to do and we didn't even need to take our sweaters off.The couple in the picture with us are our next door allotmenteers John and Glenda who are also fellow pub quizers,they have been in Northwold for a couple of years now having retired from Kings Lyn,they were busy getting their plot in order ready for planting but were only too willing to stop and chat for a while.Thats what I like about allotments ,there is a very equal division between work and relaxation and I think both Lyn and I will fall very easily into this ethic.The bottom picture is of our seed potatoes which are nearly ready to be planted.We had to chit them first which was of course a completely new term to us,something to do with ensuring that there are adequate strong shoots emerging before popping them in the ground.Some say 3 shoots some 2 and some even advocate1, I'll go along with Hugh Fearnly Whittngstall who says 2, and because I like his cook books.Now planting of potatoes is according to some a very exact science and must only happen when the soil is warm to the naked bottom,so I'll be sure to take the camera down and catch all the locals with their trousers round their ankles,and to be around for the police to arrest them for gross indecency.Finally to let you into a secret,the local farmer ploughed the allotment for a tenner.

THE CRASH SCENE

The hole in the hedge is where the lorry went through into the field,and we were turning right from the golf club.Had hoped that both vehicles would have been still there but they had been removed the previous day.Apparently it took nearly 2 hours to get the lorry out.A week on on still the bruises are there for all to see,as is a huge painful ulcer in my mouth,and althoough there are no pictues both shins are bruised and cut.A big collective OH POOR YOU !!!

BANG CRASH WALLOP

This is what happens when you haven't got your seat belt on and you get hit by a large lorry carrying a load of timber.I and two others were just leaving the golf club after a really enjoyable game ,I was in the back and Mike was in the passenger seat whilst the mad Danish man Ole was the driver.The car was a VW Passat estate.Ihad got a lift to the club with them both and I must admit on the way there I was a bit worried as Ole was driving very quickly,most of which was on narrow twisty country lanes,anyway we got there ok and enjoyed a good round of golf,and afterwards a couple of drinks in the bar before setting out for home.Anyway to pick up the story we just leaving the club and having to make a right turn in order to get on the correct side of the road.The club is located on a narrowish road but with reasonable visibility for making a right turn.We were just making the turn and must have been almost in the center of the road when I remember Mike shouting "OLE LOOK OUT ",the next I remember was this huge huge metallic bang and the car filling with smoke which I thought was fire but was in fact smoke from the airbags.Ialso remember thinking or saying am I alright,which thankfully I was.We all three seemed to be rooted to the spot before staggering out of the car.People soon came running to see if we were all ok and did any of us need an ambulance.Both Mike and Ole were ok apart from some minor cuts.The lorry had ended up through a fence and nose down in the field opposite,with his load of logs on the road and with some through his rear cab window and into the driving compartment.I think he was very lucky not to have been seriously injured as were we three.Anyway to cut a long story short the police soon attended and started to clear the mess up and do what they do in the event of an accident.Ole was

given a breath test and was ok.Lyn came to pick me up and was was really shocked to see the devestation,as was Ann, Mikes wife .I needed a couple of cups of sweet tea to calm me down as I was feeling a bit shaky.As you can see the bruises are looking good.Lyn insisted she take the pictures outside for maximum effect.

So although I was just about to put my belt on (in fact I was just reaching for it)make sure you have your belt on before the wheels start turning.A lesson has been learned,and as they say quite rightly you are never too old to learn.

LUCKY LYN

Lyn was very pleased today to get flowers from both Matt and Jonny,as you can see both bouquets were lovely,and very much appreciated by her.Jonnys on the left and Matts on the right.

QUIET WEEK

Not a lot to report since my last update.Had another round of golf last week which was very enjoyable, not least because the day was glorious and my partner and I won.Thats 2 games of golf and 2 wins,soon to lose no doubt.Went to a local town called Fakenham as it was market day there last Thursday,it was well worth the visit as it was a huge market taking over virtually all of the available space in the town.Managed to get a few more pictures(over 60 from charity shops now and all less for a fiver each).Counted the pictures throughout the cottage the other day and we have over 110 on the walls.
Travelled down to Stansted on Sunday to pick Matt up who was over for a brief visit to get an update on the cottage.It was nice to cook him Sunday lunch and show him the golf club.Went out to lunch with him on Monday before running him back to Stansted on Tuesday morning.Called into Newmarket on the way back.What a delightful market town it was .Full of horses of course with them even parading in the town centre on special walk ways.
Went past the allotment on the way back and the two old boys were out on their respective plots.They soon came over for a chat,although once again I hadn't a clue what they were talking about,but there was lots of laughter and nodding of heads.Asked them if they had worked out what ms were,but no they hadn't, I said perhaps they were m and ms (bit like smarties).They looked at me as if I was a new drink,and then they were off heading in the direction of the pub,enveloped in tobacco smoke ,and followed by a swarm of early midges.

THE VIRGIN ALLOTMENT

These are for you JONNY,as you can see it is more of a small holding than an allotment.From front to back it must be 100+ feet as well as being 24 feet wide,so a small tractor would be an ideal chrissie present.Not sure how effective the cats will be.By the way the cultivated ground is not mine.

BUSY BUSY BUSY

Last week was our busiest week since we got here.Tuesday was to be my playing in round at Swaffham Golf club,so I was understandably nervous on Monday night as I hadn't played a serious round of golf for many years,but everything was ready,clubs ,balls,tees,bag ,shoes (poor old spiders had to find a new place to live).Tuesday morning dawned and it was horrendous wind and pouring rain but undaunted I made my way to the club to meet up with the others who included the Seniors Captain (ex RAF sqd leader flying Vulcans),so you can see why I was nervous.Anyway to cut a long story short the rain continued to fall, and after a couple of hours it was decided to call it a day. I still don't know if I was pleased or dissappointed,bit of both I think.
Wednesday was quiz night.Lyn and I got off to a very bad start and we were heading for our first last place,but with questions on food and drink,sport and a good pot luck section we pulled it off and came a very creditable 3rd place.
Thursday night was bellringing practice.Progress is still being made and its only a matter of time now until we move on to ringing with the established group.Lyn still manages to bring humour to the proceedings,and I don't think the teachers really know how to deal with her.
Because Tuesday got rained off Friday was to be my revised playing in day,and unlike Tuesday Friday dawned crystal clear and no wind,so there was no putting off the inevitable I was paired with Mike against Alan and Derek.I managed to talk myself into a truly crap first tee short,but convinced myself that I was better than that and all I had to was to concentrate, and slow down.I'm pleased to say that my advice to myself worked and things soon came together.Whilst I could have played better I was pretty pleased with how things turned out , and Mike and I ran out the winners 5and 4.Next step is to get some decent clubs(Matt I need your help) and to build confidence to the point of hitting drivers off the tees rather than a trusty 5 iron.
Friday night we were out to dinner with some more golfers which included a mad but very likeable Danish man (Ole)who has a remote controlled trolley called Olga which has a mind of its own and goes walkabout on the course causing mayhem.A very good evening with fine food and excellent company.Once again we staggered home in the early hours with umbrella and torch.We got soaked but somehow it didn't matter.
Shaun and Anne Marie came up yesterday,it was great to see them(so where are you Jan and Stuart),we had lunch at the Crown, (which was surprisingly good)followed by a walk round the village,stopping en route to show them my allotment.We also bumped into some local allotmenteers (is that their collective name) and got some advice, or at least I think we did but it was very difficult to understand them being that they were both well over retirement age, obviously Norfolk born and bred,and had without a doubt been on the sauce for much of the morning and a lot of the afternoon.Something about cats crapping on their leeks.The only cats I could see were some cardboard ones stuck in the ground which one of the guys duly fell over.Also it had rained 20ms in the night according to one of them but they didn't know what ms meant.They both agreed after much discussion amongst themselves that it had in fact PISSED DOWN.We left them to their leeks, plastic cats and of course their ms.
Shaun and Anne Marie left about 7.30 and now its just me and Lyn ,which is very comfy and cosy.We have a quiet week coming up which will be nice.Might go down to the allotment lean on my spade and wait for the locals to gather and offer advice on how to proceed.Happy days.